The basic steps to send a friend request
To send a friend request on Facebook, find the person's profile, then click or tap the "Add Friend" button. The button appears near their name and profile photo. On a computer, it's usually in the top right of their profile. On a phone, it's often below their cover photo. After you click it, Facebook sends them a notification that you've requested to connect, and they can accept or decline.
The person you've requested won't see your request as public — only they can see it in their notifications. They have the choice to accept, decline, or ignore it. If they accept, you become friends and can see each other's posts (depending on privacy settings). If they decline, you won't be notified, but you can send another request later if you want.
Key Takeaways
- Find the person's profile by searching their name in the Facebook search bar, then click "Add Friend" near their name.
- Your request is private — only the person you're requesting can see it, not your other friends.
- If someone declines your request, you can send another one after some time has passed.
- Some people have their profiles set so you cannot send them a request — this usually means they've restricted who can contact them.
- Once someone accepts your request, you can message them and see their posts unless they've limited what you can view.
Finding someone to send a request to
The easiest way to find someone is to use Facebook's search bar at the top of the page or app. Type their name, and Facebook will show you a list of people with that name. Look for the right person by checking their profile photo, location, or mutual friends — Facebook often shows you if you have friends in common, which helps confirm you've found the right person.
If you know their email address or phone number, you can search for that instead. You can also find people through mutual friends — if you're on a friend's profile, you can see their friends list and send requests to people there. Some people also share a link to their profile, which you can click to go straight to their page.
What happens after you send a request
Once you send a request, it sits in the person's "Friend Requests" section until they respond. They'll see a notification that you've sent it. You can see the status of your request by going back to their profile — the button will change to say "Request Pending" or "Cancel Request," depending on your device.
If you change your mind, you can cancel the request by clicking that button again. There's no notification sent to them when you cancel — it just disappears from their queue. If they accept, you'll get a notification, and you'll both be able to see each other's profiles and posts (within each other's privacy settings).
When you cannot send a request to someone
Some profiles don't have an "Add Friend" button. This usually means the person has adjusted their privacy settings to limit who can send them requests. They might have restricted this to friends of friends only, or to people they've interacted with before. It could also mean they've blocked you, though you won't see a message saying that — the button just won't appear.
If you're trying to reach someone and cannot send a request, you could try messaging them instead if that option is available. Some people allow messages from non-friends even if they don't allow requests. You can also ask a mutual friend to introduce you or share your profile with them.
Sending requests to people you already know
If you've met someone in person or talked to them before, sending a request is straightforward — just find their profile and click "Add Friend." You don't need permission or a reason to send a request. Many people send requests to classmates, coworkers, neighbors, or people they've met at events.
If you're not sure whether someone will remember you, you can send them a message after they accept explaining how you know each other. This is especially helpful if you have no mutual friends or if it's been a long time since you last spoke. A short message like "Hey, we met at [event]" or "I think we went to school together" helps them place you.
Managing requests you receive from others
When someone sends you a request, you'll see it in your notifications or in your "Friend Requests" section. You have three options: accept, decline, or leave it pending. If you accept, you become friends. If you decline, the request goes away and they won't be notified — they just won't see an "Add Friend" button on your profile anymore.
If you're not sure about someone, you can look at their profile first before deciding. Click on their name in the request to see their profile photo, mutual friends, and other information. This can help you figure out if you know them or want to connect. You can also leave the request sitting there without responding — it will stay in your requests until you make a choice.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can someone see that I sent them a friend request?
Yes, they'll get a notification that you sent it. The notification tells them your name and shows your profile photo. They can see the request in their "Friend Requests" section, but your other friends won't see that you sent it — it's only visible to the person you requested.
What if I sent a request and they haven't responded?
You can wait for them to respond, or you can cancel the request and send it again later. There's no time limit on how long a request can sit pending. If you cancel and resend after a few weeks or months, it won't bother them — it just shows up as a new request.
Can I send a message before they accept my friend request?
It depends on their settings. Some people allow messages from non-friends, and some don't. If messaging is allowed, you can try sending a message along with your request. If it's not allowed, you'll see a message saying you can't contact them until they accept your request.
What does it mean if the "Add Friend" button is not there?
It usually means they've set their privacy settings to limit requests, or they've blocked you. You could try messaging them instead if that option appears, or ask a mutual friend to help you connect. Some people also deactivate their accounts temporarily, which can hide the button.
Do I need to know someone to send them a friend request?
No. You can send a request to anyone whose profile is public or semi-public. However, people are more likely to accept requests from people they know or have mutual friends with. Sending requests to strangers with no connection sometimes results in declines, but it's not against Facebook's rules.