How to Check Friend Requests on Discord
Discord makes connecting with people straightforward, but the interface isn't always immediately obvious — especially if you're new to the platform or switching between devices. Knowing exactly where to find pending friend requests, how notifications work, and what affects your experience across different setups helps you stay on top of your social connections without frustration.
Where Friend Requests Live on Discord
Discord centralizes all friend request activity in the Friends tab, which is part of the Direct Messages (DM) section. This isn't buried inside a server or channel — it's a dedicated area accessible from any device you use Discord on.
Here's how it's organized:
- Pending — Shows both incoming and outgoing friend requests
- All — Lists every accepted friend currently on your list
- Online — Filters to show only friends currently active
- Blocked — Shows accounts you've blocked
The Pending tab is where incoming friend requests sit waiting for your response. Discord separates these into "Incoming" and "Outgoing" sub-labels within that view, so you can tell at a glance who sent you a request versus who you're still waiting on.
How to Check Friend Requests on Desktop (Windows/Mac/Browser)
On the desktop app or browser version of Discord:
- Open Discord and look at the top-left corner of the screen
- Click the Discord logo (the home icon) to go to the main DM view
- Click Friends in the left panel
- Select the Pending tab at the top of the Friends screen
Any incoming friend requests will appear here with options to Accept or Ignore. Outgoing requests you've sent that haven't been accepted yet also appear in this same view.
🖥️ The desktop layout keeps this area persistently accessible, making it the easiest version to navigate if you manage a lot of connections.
How to Check Friend Requests on Mobile (iOS and Android)
The mobile app reorganizes Discord's layout significantly compared to desktop. Navigation that's always visible on desktop gets tucked behind gestures and icons on mobile.
To find friend requests on the Discord mobile app:
- Open the Discord app
- Tap the speech bubble / Messages icon at the bottom of the screen (this opens your DM list)
- Tap the person icon or Friends option near the top of the screen
- Select Pending from the tabs that appear
The exact visual layout varies slightly depending on whether you're on iOS or Android, and Discord periodically updates its mobile UI — so button placement may shift between app versions. The general path, however, remains consistent: home → friends → pending.
Notification Behavior: Why You Might Not See an Alert 🔔
Discord does send notifications when someone sends you a friend request, but several factors affect whether you actually see that alert:
| Factor | Effect on Notifications |
|---|---|
| Notification settings | System-level or in-app settings may suppress alerts |
| Do Not Disturb mode | Discord's own DND status mutes most notifications |
| Mobile background permissions | Some phones restrict apps from notifying when closed |
| Friend request source | Requests from non-mutual-server users may behave differently depending on your privacy settings |
| Account privacy settings | If your settings only allow friends-of-friends to add you, unqualified requests won't arrive at all |
If you're not seeing notifications for friend requests, check both your Discord notification preferences (under User Settings → Notifications) and your device-level app notification permissions.
Privacy Settings That Affect Who Can Send You Requests
Not everyone can send you a friend request by default — Discord's privacy controls filter who reaches your Pending tab in the first place.
Under User Settings → Privacy & Safety, you can control:
- Who can send you friend requests — options typically include Everyone, Friends of Friends, and Server Members only
- Whether people can find you by email or phone number
These settings directly affect what appears in your Pending tab. If a contact is trying to add you and you're not seeing their request, your privacy settings may be filtering it out before it ever arrives — not a glitch, just a setting worth checking.
When Pending Requests Don't Appear as Expected
A few common situations cause confusion around friend requests:
The request was sent but doesn't show up: The sender's account may have been flagged or limited by Discord's systems. Spam-associated accounts sometimes can't send requests successfully even when the sender sees no error.
You accepted a request but the person isn't on your friends list: This occasionally happens due to sync delays or account issues on either end. Refreshing Discord or signing out and back in usually resolves it.
You can't tell if someone received your request: Outgoing requests only disappear from your Pending tab once the recipient accepts — or if they ignore and dismiss it, or if they delete their account. If it's sitting in Outgoing, it hasn't been acted on yet.
The Variable That Changes Everything
How smoothly all of this works for you depends on a combination of factors that aren't universal: the device and OS version you're running, which version of the Discord app you have installed, how you've configured your privacy settings, and how frequently the other person uses Discord at all.
Someone managing Discord primarily on desktop with default settings will have a different experience finding and responding to friend requests than someone using an older version of the mobile app with aggressive battery-saving restrictions. The mechanics are the same — but the path to get there, and how reliably notifications surface, shifts based on your specific setup.