The fastest way to add a friend on Discord

To add a friend on Discord, you need their username and the four-digit number that comes after it (called a tag), or you can search for them by their display name if you're already in the same server. The simplest method is to open Discord, click the Friends icon on the left sidebar, select "Add Friend," type their username and tag, and click "Send Friend Request." They'll see your request and can accept or decline it.

Discord requires both people to confirm the friendship before you can message each other directly. Once they accept, you'll appear in each other's friend lists and can start direct conversations whenever you want.

Key Takeaways

  • You need someone's Discord username and tag (the four numbers after their name) to send them a friend request.
  • The Friends button is on the left sidebar of Discord — click it, then select "Add Friend" to search for someone.
  • If you're already in a server with someone, you can right-click their name and choose "Add Friend" without needing their tag.
  • Friend requests stay pending until the other person accepts or declines them — you can cancel a request anytime.
  • Once someone accepts your request, you can message them directly and see when they're online.

Finding someone's Discord username and tag

Every Discord user has a username followed by a tag — a number like #0001 or #9999. You need both pieces to search for someone who isn't in any of your shared servers. Ask the person directly for their username and tag, or look for it on their social media profile if they've posted it there.

If you're already in a Discord server with the person, you don't need their tag. You can simply right-click their name in the member list or in the chat and select "Add Friend" from the menu. Discord will send the request without you typing anything.

Sending a friend request step by step

On desktop or web: Open Discord and look at the left sidebar. Click the Friends icon (it looks like two people). At the top of the Friends panel, click "Add Friend." Type the person's username and tag in the search box — for example, "username#1234" — then click "Send Friend Request." A message will appear confirming the request was sent.

On mobile: Tap the Friends icon at the bottom of the screen (it looks like two people). Tap the plus icon or "Add Friend" button. Type their username and tag, then tap "Send Friend Request." The process is the same as desktop, just with mobile buttons instead.

After you send the request, the person will see a notification on their Discord. They can accept it, decline it, or ignore it. Until they respond, the request will show as "Pending" in your Friends list.

What happens after you send a request

When you send a friend request, Discord notifies the other person. They'll see your request in their Friends panel under a "Pending" section. They can accept it immediately, or they might wait. Some people check Discord infrequently, so a request might sit for days or weeks.

While a request is pending, you cannot send direct messages to that person. Once they accept, you'll both appear in each other's friend lists, and you can message each other anytime. If they decline, the request disappears and you'll need to send a new one if you want to try again later.

You can cancel a pending request at any time by clicking the X next to it in your Friends list. This removes the request without notifying the other person.

Adding friends from a shared server

If you're already in a Discord server with someone, you can add them as a friend without knowing their tag. Find their name in the member list (usually on the right side of the screen) or scroll through the chat to find a message they sent. Right-click their name and select "Add Friend" from the menu that appears.

This method works on desktop and web. On mobile, tap and hold their name, then select "Add Friend" from the options. The request will be sent immediately, and they'll receive a notification just like any other friend request.

This is often the easiest way to add someone, especially if you don't know their exact username or tag. Many people use display names that are different from their actual username, so searching by tag might not work — but right-clicking their name in a server always works.

Troubleshooting friend requests that don't go through

If you type a username and tag but the "Send Friend Request" button doesn't appear or is grayed out, you've likely typed something wrong. Discord usernames are case-sensitive, and the tag must be exactly right. Double-check the numbers and spelling, and try again.

If the person has their privacy settings turned on, they might not show up in search results at all. In that case, ask them to add you instead, or find them in a shared server and use the right-click method. Some users also block friend requests from strangers, which means you can only add them if you're already in a server together.

If you're sure you typed everything correctly and still can't find them, they might have changed their username recently. Ask them to confirm their current username and tag, or have them add you directly.

Managing your friend list and requests

Once someone is your friend, their name appears in your Friends list on the left sidebar. You can click their name anytime to open a direct message conversation. If you want to remove someone from your friends list, right-click their name and select "Remove Friend." This doesn't notify them, but they'll notice you're no longer on their list if they check.

You can also see pending requests by clicking the Friends icon and looking for the "Pending" section. From there, you can accept, decline, or cancel any request. Discord keeps a history of your pending requests, so you can review who you've sent requests to and whether they've responded.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I add someone on Discord if I don't know their tag?

If you're in a server together, yes — right-click their name and select "Add Friend." If you're not in a shared server, you need their exact username and tag to search for them. Ask them directly or check their social media profile if they've posted it.

What's the difference between a username and a display name on Discord?

Your username is permanent and includes the four-digit tag (like username#1234). Your display name is what appears in servers and can be different from your username. When adding a friend, you need the username and tag, not the display name.

How long does it take for someone to see my friend request?

They'll see it immediately if they're online. If they're offline, they'll see it the next time they open Discord. Some people check Discord rarely, so requests can sit for days or weeks before they respond.

Can I send a message before someone accepts my friend request?

No. You can only send direct messages to people who are already your friends or who are in the same server as you. Once they accept your request, you can message them anytime.

What happens if someone declines my friend request?

The request disappears from both of your lists. You can send another request later if you want, but they'll receive another notification. If they decline again, it's usually a sign they don't want to be friends.